MEN FIND COMMON GROUND & SUPPORT THROUGH CONVERSATION

Jerry Kwasek has been through it. By "it" we’re talking about life —the joyful, wonderful parts and the heart-wrenching, I-don’t-think-I-can’t-bear-it ones. It’s a life he describes as "imperfect," but he believes that is exactly why he — and the other facilitators of the Men’s Perspective Group — are perfect for their roles.

Kwasek founded the group at Mission Valley YMCA in 2023. The goal: Provide an outlet for a group of men to share experiences, discuss their lives and help each other to become better versions of themselves.

A former media executive with a master’s degree in social science, Kwasek has “decades of real-life, family and professional experience dealing with family alcoholism, chemical dependency, marital tensions and separations, and criminal justice issues.” At 73, he’s gained his own hard-earned perspective and is convinced he is onto something critical and life-changing for the men in his group.

The concept for the Men’s Perspective Group took hold back when Kwasek was a scout master. “On campouts, after the boys retired to their tents, the men would sit around the campfire and begin to open up to each other about the stressors in their lives at home and at work.”

He remembers thinking, “Holy cow, the men need a respite; they need a safe place to release and talk about whatever is going on in their lives.” That got Kwasek, a longtime YMCA member, donor and part-time swim instructor, thinking about George Williams, who founded the first YMCA in London in 1844. Williams's mission was to build a supportive community where young men like himself could tackle the pressing social challenges they faced.

Kwasek figured his group could offer that outlet for men today. “The men start to look at themselves and see direction they’re in or have been in and maybe the direction they’d like to go. We encourage people to think about how they want to be remembered — what is your legacy?” The sessions, Kwasek says, “help them make new male friends without talking about sports or politics.”

Interest in the Men’s Perspective Group is growing. It’s open to men 18 and older, with most in the 40 to 60 range. They meet regularly now at four other locations: Dan McKinney Family YMCA, Ryan Family YMCA, Copley-Price Family YMCA and Toby Wells YMCA. The men volunteer for service projects together at the Y, which is yet another way Kwasek has observed that the conversation flows.

WHAT'S NEXT?

Based on the response from the men currently involved, Kwasek and the other facilitators want to see the group expand to all YMCAs in the county. Adding a women’s perspective group is on the table, as well. Women who have referred their husbands or partners to the men's group are enthusiastic about the idea. 

MORE INFORMATION

Learn more about the Men's Perspective Group here. 

Learn more about the history of the Y here.